All the Things I Didn’t Know

I posted this on Hailey’s Medical Blog But I thought I would share it here as well.

The day my husband and I made the decision to take Hailey into our home, we realized that we would be her only advocates. Up to that point, (she was almost 5) no one had taken the time to get her the help she needed, they simply labeled her as, “Bad”, “Wild”, “Uncontrollable”, “a true victim of her circumstances”. A child no one wanted, or was willing to “deal” with. I guess that’s not entirely true, they did get her glasses at age 4. Anyway, we knew that we had a long road ahead of us, but we were not going to give up on this little one like so many people had before.

What I had not prepared for was life long advocacy. I truly thought that once we got her to a certain point, things would get easier. And I was very naive to the fact that I would even have to fight with health care people, to get her what she needed. I didn’t understand that I would eventually be advocating for people to recognize that she needed help. All because she “LOOKS” normal.

Those are just a few things that I did not know. It may sound like I’m complaining, or that I resent these things, but it is quite opposite, because there are so many more things i did not know when we made our decision. I did not know that I would fall madly in love with her. I did not know that helping her make it in this Neuro typical  world would become my passion. I did not know that I would feel her hurt so deeply that I cry when I see her being treated unfairly. I did not know that she would rock my world and turn it upside down.

There are days when I wonder why I was chosen for such a HUGE task, and I wonder if I am doing anything right. But, I wouldn’t trade any of this for anything else in life. So, when I asked, “Would you have made the same decision if you had known about all of the issues?” My answer is YES, my daughter is not a mistake, she was given to my by God! He always gives me the strength I need to deal with whatever comes our way. I would never trade the opportunity to se her smile, to feel her hugs, and to see her succeed.