Racism

Racism is a huge topic in the world right now. People are constantly bickering about this and that, and quite frankly I see more words typed and name calling then I do people actually doing something about the issue. Talking about the issue only goes so far. Raising awareness only goes so far. I mean if people really don’t understand that there is racism going on they are purposefully putting on the blinders. As a white lady in the south I can tell you that white privilege is real. But, it’s not just here in the south, and it’s not just white privilege that’s the issue. Look around and you will see that there is racism on all fronts. This is a battle that will first be fought in the comforts of our own homes. What we teach our children will have the greatest impact on our future IMO. Of course I can go to rallies and write papers, I can post stuff on Facebook, and even write great blog posts about the subject, and I may at some point do some of those things, but I still firmly believe as a parent I can help from home first.

There’s the obvious things that I can do as a parent like, talk to the kids about how we shouldn’t view anyone in a negative light based on their skin color or ethnicity, or tell them about times in history when tragedies happened because of racism, and those things are good things to do. But I believe it goes deeper than that. When we purchase Barbie dolls or other dolls we can make sure that they aren’t all whatever ethnicity we are. In our case as a white family I have always had dolls of many colors and nationalities. We have friends of many colors and nationalities. At times I have sought out families who are different than ours. As a homeschooling family I have been intentional about studying different countries. Yes, I have taught my kids about things like, African slavery, Holocaust etc. But I have also taught about good times, times when people who are different have worked together and changed the word. I believe we should be intentional about the children’s books we read to our kids, and even the shows that we watch. Are they multi-cultural? When teaching about inventions are we teaching only one ethnicity invented everything? Or are we teaching about all sorts of people who invented things? These may seem like small things, but these are things that I feel will help the child understand that while yes, we all have differences those differences do not make one person better than the other person.

So, that’s my little thought from my little corner of the world.

Why I do not allow my child to wear makeup.

 

No color needed she is beautiful! Perfect in every way. But will she ever know that? I don’t know. I will however, do my best to help her to know that she was created in the image of God.

First let me say NO I do not think wearing make up is a sin! (yes I was asked that)

From the moment she walk in my door she has loved all things girly. Make Up, Dresses, High Heels, Jewelry , Glitter, the works. No big deal right? That’s normal for girls right? YES! but only when they are innocent and not accompanied by these phrases,

“I cannot wait to wear lip stick, then I will be pretty”

“I like her because she is pretty, look at all her jewelry.”

“What age can I where make up mom? I want to be pretty.”

And my list could go on. I remember when she was five. We were in the dollar tree and a lady came in. Hailey was instantly drawn to her. She was the most beautiful person she had ever seen. Eyes wide she stared at the lady as if she had seen a celebrity. Tap, tap, tap,  came the little fingers in my leg. “Momma, that is the prettiest person I have ever seen!!” Now before I continue I will describe this lady, TAN, BIG LIPS, LEPORD PRINT MINI SKIRT, LOT’s! of MAKE UP, BIG CURLY HAIR, HIGH HEELS. At that moment I simply said, “Yes honey she is beautiful.” and we moved on. That day Hailey talked and talked about that lady. So I felt like it was time to have a discussion about it. “Why do you think that lady is so pretty?”, “Because, she had on make up, and jewelry, and high heels!!” Hmmm……. Time for a talk about true beauty.

From that point on it became painfully clear that my daughter had it in her mind that beauty is based on looks. Now she is ten, and we have done our best to teach her that true beauty comes from the Lord,  it’s what’s inside. But we are fighting a culture that bases a woman’s value on looks. 

 

Just the other day she asked me when she would be allowed to wear make up. I promptly asked her why she wanted to wear make up so bad. Her response shocks me every time because I know that we have done our part in attempting to change this mine set, but her answer was the same, “Because, it will make me pretty.” We then of course talked about how beauty comes from within, and that make up should not be used to change your looks, but to enhance your natural looks.

I know that my opinion on this is not a popular one, and so many will not agree. Actually I know many who think it’s crazy. But for now, as long as she is still an innocent child, (and yes I think a ten year old is an innocent child) she will not be encouraged by me to wear make up. I will do my best to help her know that make up does not make you pretty. It’s an up hill battle that I am willing to take on.

So when I am asked why Hailey cannot wear make up, this is the long answer, the short answer is , “Why should she?”

Toddler, Homeschool, HELP!!

I remember sitting down with a momma and listening to her talk about how desperate she was to figure out what to do with her toddler during “school” time. “Nap times do not work here, and we can’t get anything done without this child destroying something, climbing on the table, ripping school pages from our hands, and making so much racket that we can’t get anything done, what do I do”. At that time I was homeschooling 2 kids and had a 2 year old. I really didn’t see what the big deal was. I helped her formulate a plan, and come up with activities etc. I went over what we were doing to occupy our toddler.

Fast-forward to 2013. I’m homeschooling 2 1/2 kids, and have one toddler. I now get what the big deal was. This toddler while sweet and loving and cuddly is a monster when it comes to us trying to get school done. LOL. He is NOTHING like my previous toddlers were. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t have a clue what to do with him.

Forgiveness?

When the Lord laid this on my heart it was to deal with ME. Then he told me to write this blog post and I said “no”. I dreamed about it, and the next day I wrote a short draft of my thoughts. This sat in my drafts for a total of three weeks and I never looked at it again. but it has nagged at me, so here you go. One of the hardest posts I’ve ever written.

Forgiveness is often a hard thing to understand. When you are an adoptive parent it’s often impossible to understand. This subject is difficult for me to write about, and I don’t even know if anyone will read this, but it’s been on my heart for a few weeks now, so I’m writing this out here.

When you adopt a child specifically a child with special needs, or a child who’s special needs were specifically caused by the birth parent it’s hard not to have a hard heart towards that parent. I mean they hurt your baby. Or caused your baby pain. As mamma’s it so hard not to feel angry for your child. Actually there is nothing wrong with feeling angry about your child’s situation. The problem is when that anger festers and leads to un-forgiveness. When every time we think about that person our hearts are hard. This is completely normal and natural. I have battled with un-forgiveness. I completely understand where it comes from, and how hard it is to not feel badly towards people who have wronged you or your children.

It has taken me many years to get to where I am now, and I admittedly still have a long way to go. But, the Lord has really helped me with the un-forgiveness and truth be told hatred in my heart. When I am sitting in my daughters floor holding her and trying to explain why her mother didn’t try harder to take care of her, I have two choices, I can allow that to fester and feel hard feelings towards her mother and bash her mother (and that would seem justified), or I can accept that her mother made poor decisions and that God loves her anyways, and tell my daughter that I don’t know why those things happened, but that she is being taken care of now and God is in control, and teach my daughter to pray for her mother.

Un-forgiveness towards birth parents is a parasite that grows in your heart. Over time you it will feel like it belongs there. There will be many people who will help it belong there and add further to your hard heart. But the thing about un-forgiveness is that it keeps us from receiving forgiveness from God. Eventually we teach our children to have un-forgiveness  in their heart.

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive you your transgressions. Matthew 6:14-15

Forgiveness is about freedom. Un-forgiveness and hatred bind chains around you. When you teach your children to harbor hatred and un-forgiveness it binds chains around them as well. So how do you change the way you feel about birth parents when they have caused your children to suffer? Well, that’s not a simple answer. The first thing is to pray, pray and pray some more. Pray for that person. Ask God to change your heart, and your perspective. It’s a very delicate situation because as a parent we feel so deeply for those children that the Lord has put in our lives, and we may never get past that. BUT I assure you learning to forgive them will be one of the best things you can do for yourself and your child. One day my children will be old enough to fully understand what has happened to them. I would much rather be the voice that helps them reach a place of forgiveness and love, then the person who helps them develop hatred.

This is a difficult task indeed, and one I am still working hard on. I am not the best with words, and this probably makes no sense at all, but it’s just something I have really been dealing with, and if for only one person, or maybe for myself, the Lord lead me to write this. And there it is one of the hardest posts I have ever written.

What I learned from the beauty pageant

 

First of all I want to say how amazingly beautiful my daughter is inside and out. She really is an amazing girl.

I have always had strong feelings about beauty pageants, so when I decided to let Hailey do this one I was in shock. What had come over me? Well, there was the whole this was for a good cause, and she would love it thing. But other than that? Anyway, this was not your typical pageant. This pageant was put on for special needs girls. They made a category for each girl so that they all won, and really went out of their way to make each girl feel really special. And let me tell you, each girl felt like a queen for the day including my Hailey. Over all I’m glad we participated. Will we participate again no. I wanted to share a few things with you that I gleaned from our experience good and bad. (please note these thoughts are in no way a negative to the director of the pageant who, is an amazing woman with an amazing heart, and who did a wonderful job putting this pageant together)

Some of the things I thought were wonderful about the pageant was that some of these girl may never have had this opportunity otherwise.  It was also a good time for me to do  something really girly with Hailey. It was wonderful to see how people donated their time and money to make this possible for the girls. Dresses were donated, photography donated, hair and make up done for free. That was awesome. I know that some of the girls felt so special and it was great for them to have a day to feel like the prettiest person in the world. They may not have that any other time. it was also nice for the mom’s to know that their girls can do “normal” things once in a while. I met some incredibly strong ladies there.

Though there was a lot of positive, there were also some things that stuck out in my head as not good things. I want to go ahead and say that I’m not saying you shouldn’t do pageants, but if you do there are some things you may want to think about.

I heard someone say, “Some of these girls are pretty enough to be in an ordinary pageant.” It made my stomach turn. How sad that we live in a society that puts so much thought into what beauty is. Outward beauty I mean. How sad that there were so many parents who feel that their daughters could not participate in an ordinary pageant, and how sad that society has made them feel that way. My own daughter was feeling like she had never been so pretty. The thought and work and heart behind this pageant was so awesome, but it shouldn’t have been needed. I know that it would take a miracle for that mind set to change. With media blasting it in every corner.

Knowing I could never take on the whole world on this issue, I started to think about what I could do in my own home.  The Lord revealed to me that I put to much emphasis on outer beauty. I’m always saying what a beautiful outfit, dress, hair style, smile, eyes, etc. she has. She does have those things, and it’s not wrong for me to say them, I just really feel the Lord leading me to change my wording in some other  area’s to help teach inner beauty. Like, when she share’s we would normally say, “good job sharing” but I feel like we should say something about how the sharing was beautiful. If I let her know those things that show inner beauty are also beautiful on the inside she may “get it”. I will now start saying things like, “I saw you do something really beautiful, thank you for sharing with your brother”, “You know, it really showed true beauty when you told the truth”. I know it may seem silly to change the wording to include words we would normally use to compliment outward beauty. But, I really think if we did that more girls would realize there is more to being pretty than make up and high heels. KWIM? 

Over all I’m glad we did the pageant. I am thankful to the Lord for revealing to me the need to combat this world view of beauty. So there are a few of my thought. I hope they helped someone.

The Heart Behind Jacks Academy

The word Academy has several different meanings, all focused on the primes of learning. When I changed the name of this blog to  Jacks Academy I had put a lot of thought behind the name, but I never got around to writing up this post. I love to blog, to write, to preserve memories. Ironically my life has been super busy, and my blogging has simply been an after thought. However, as I was going through reading the blogs I frequent, I was suddenly struck once again with thought about why I chose the name I chose for this blog and what it means to me. It seems natural that I would choose this name since this blog is primarily focused on Homeschooling, but homeschooling for us is so much more than book work.

It’s life. It’s love. It’s quality time spend. It’s therapy. It’s play. It’s strengthening our relationship with the Lord. It’s life skills. It’s developing character. It’s learning opportunities through fieldtrips. It’s arts and crafts. It’s all of us, every opportunity.

• ACADEMY (noun)
  The noun ACADEMY has 4 senses:

1. a secondary school (usually private)
2. an institution for the advancement of art or science or literature
3. a school for special training
4. a learned establishment for the advancement of knowledge

In our case the “establishment” is our family unit. We believe that learning embodies every area of our lives and we are not bound by the walls of a public school, or the kitchen table. This is a calling. Something we feel strongly that the Lord has lead us to.

My marriage was ordained and set in motion by the Lord.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24

My family was given to me by the Lord, and intended to bring glory and honor to him.

 ^“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,”

Ephesians 3:14-15

All humans male and female are created in the image of God. Our children are our responsibility. Children are the heritage of the Lord. Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”

Psalms 127:3-5

“He must manage his own household well,”

1 Timothy 3:4

Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness, maintain and strengthen the family, and lead them always to the foot of Christ.

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.” 

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

We believe the Lord has called us to educate our children. This is a calling that the Lord has placed on our lives. We believe that education happens in all aspects of life, and that the basis of all education should lead children to Christ.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

WTOW- Easy to Love but Hard to Raise Giveaway Results

We had several wonderful entries for this giveaway. I entered the number into a random results generator at Random.org and came up with comment number 1 as our winner. Here’s what she said

Kristina Osgood said...

Trying to explain the issues with family or friends and their comment "but she looks normal to me" has got to be one of the most discouraging things ever. It's frustrating to try making people understand what is going on when they can't see it themselves. And when they see a behavior or are with her during a seizure they pretend it a)didn't happen or b)"All kids do that".

Congratulations! I will be contacting you to get your book to you.

 

HELP! My Three Year Old is Behind?

 

I’ve noticed something recently in the homeschool world that has really been bothering me. On blogs, and forums, and general conversations, there seem to be a large number of folks who seem to believe that their two and three year olds are behind or delayed because they can’t trace a line, or read, or color a whole picture, or write their name. Just today alone I read these questions by mothers,

• My 3 1/2 year old can do math, but he can’t write, what can I do to help him catch up in this area?
• I’m looking for a curriculum for my two year old. Do I include all subjects (Math, science, history, handwriting, phonics)
• Help! My three year old is behind. He can’t do any of the things I see the children on blogs doing. I saw one child who could write his name, and read and he was 3 1/2, and one child colors in the lines beautifully, and mine only scribbles, and never finishes a page.

Those are only a few of the questions I have seen asked lately. Here’s the thing, sure there are advanced two and three year olds, and that is wonderful, and we should foster that. But, they are advanced. Your child is NOT behind. A tot should play, giggle, paint, make mud pies, and learn through PLAY. PLAY. It is important for you to take the child's lead, especially when they are little.

One popular web site for Tot’s is One Plus One Plus One Equals One. Carissa’s Ladybug is an advanced tot. The problem is that I don’t think mother’s are listening to Carissa when she says this, and they are comparing their children to her little girl, and other advanced tot’s, and then begin to feel inadequate and the PUSH their tot’s to develop skills before they are ready. Here are two great articles written by Carissa.

• Following the Lead of the Child 
• The Advanced Tot

My point is, let you tot be a tot. Let them play. Don’t push. Don’t compare. Just let them be little.

 

Sweet Amazing Blessing

many of you have followed my Hailey’s story. I realized that it has been a while since I have given an update on her progress. Do you see the photo above? That, is how she is doing. AMAZING! She is climbing, and running, and walking, and hanging on bars which she used her legs to get on the bars. For those who don’t know Hailey has a brain condition called Chiari Malformation. In addition she has Syringomyelia. These conditions affect her in many different ways. One way is that she had little strength in her legs. Simple things like walking long distances, swinging, and climbing. The photo above blesses me, because it shows how far she has come, and how far she is going.

This past Fourth of July we celebrated two years of the Lord sparing Hailey’s life, and bringing her home to us. I’m not sure why her time spent in the hospital hit me hard this year. But I thought about it all week long. I’m just so thankful to have her as my daughter. She still struggles, but she has come so far. I am so proud of her!

It’s the Little Things

He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.

Luke 16:10

When I was a child, my mother used to quote this scripture. It would aggravate me, but always held true. Now that I am older and married, and have children of my own, I still find this scripture to be true. I’ll be the first to tell you that I am not always faithful with the little things, but I try very hard, and I try to teach my children the same concept.

Autism, is a HUGE responsibility. One I have never felt ready for. No one really is. With Autism also comes other BIG responsibilities; Finding the right doctors, the right medications, the right sensory diet, IEP’s, community awareness, and Bio-Medical Treatments. Those are all big responsibilities. They take up lots of time, and lots of money. Ironically even though these are big things, they are usually easy to remain faithful to. We will jump through hoops to get to those appointments, and take out loans to pay for various treatments. But, the little things are often overlooked.

I am guilty. Guilty of forgetting that it’s the little things that make the biggest impact. Like getting a dog, or building block towers, or ensuring that strong shirts are always washed and ready each morning. The little  things like, playing board games, and spinning in circles until we can’t stand up, or sitting close on the couch. Those things are so important, but often get looked over because we are stressed out trying to remain faithful to the big things.

I’m not saying that the big things aren’t important. If they weren’t important, they wouldn’t be big things. What I’m saying is that we sometimes get so stressed over the big things, that we push the little things aside. We forget to make time for them. Then things start getting harder, and we stop seeing results. Because, those little things, are really big things.

I think that’s the true lesson my mom was trying to teach me during my childhood. I have recently begun looking at my sons needs, and re-assessing what little things I need to treat as big things. A few I can think of off the top of my head seem really simple, but if you have a child with Autism, you know that sometimes these things are easy to put aside, because it takes more time, or we are so stressed about what we consider BIG things, that we just don’t think about these.

Small things like stopping to pick up a fishing thing. This seemed like a really bazaar treasure, but I later found out he wanted this for his PaPaw who has a current obsession with all things fishing. This small thing, was really a HUGE thing.

Taking a picture of these guys seemed trivial in the grand scheme of our bird study, but my abstract thinker saw how the heads looked like a heart, and went home to draw hearts, from looking at this picture. 

Taking the time to wrap this baby in a towel after every bath, and hold him tight. I knew he hated to be touched, and baths always seemed so stressful to him then, I would wrap him, he would fight, but then he was calm. This seemed so silly, and no one really understood why I took the time to do this. It seemed so stressful, and a waste of time. After about 2 weeks he would ask for the frog towel. After about 4 months, he no longer screamed during bath time. After about 6 months, he would snuggle on the couch. After about a year, he would seek out hugs. We didn’t know then about him having Autism. He only just came to us. But that little thing, became a HUGE thing. It’s still a HUGE thing after 4 years.

I know this post was a bit unconventional for an Autism Awareness post, but I really wanted to encourage you mothers who are living this everyday. I know how hard it is to drop the small stuff. By doing so we often miss out on the big stuff without even knowing it, because so often the small stuff, is really the big stuff.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up

Galatians 6:9

The Geat Outdoors

My kids have lived in apartments, for most of their lives. Apartments with no place to play outdoors. We did live in one place with a playground, and lot’s of kids, but my kids were bullied, so they didn’t play at there very often. Also, my oldest son always had so many allergies, that I simply could not allow them to explore nature. Over the years, I have attempted to make opportunities for outside play, we have had play dates at the park, and my parents have a back yard, but it’s never been the same as I remember as a child.

I remember hours spent outdoors, hunting Rolly Polly's, catching Lightning Bugs, and collecting Acorns. I remember mud pies, bike riding, water fights, and dandelion bouquets. I remember the first time I found a Locust Skin, and staying out until dark. My kids have not known what that was all about. That is until now.

We purchased a house in an older neighborhood, with a huge backyard. We have a corner lot, and though it’s not even a full acre, my kids think it’s 30. They are loving it. They spend hours out there. They wake up thinking about it. They have hunted for treasure in the form of worms, lizards, and acorns. I can’t even count the number of mud pies they have made. The best part is, they have used their imagination to make up games. HUGE for my older two. They come in for food, and water, and head back out. They are worn out for bed time, and some of the sleep issues are going away.

They only problem I am having is keeping them interested in school work. Hailey is pretty good about doing her work, but Christopher, well, he sits and daydreams about being outdoors. He asks about a million times to go outside and play, and cares nothing for his school work. I did start using outdoors as an incentive, but even that was short lived. I think I’m going to have to give in and join the outdoor madness, but teaching him outside. I don’t mind really, it’s just different. I know it will make him happy.

At some point I ‘m sure the outdoors will be less of an addiction. but for now, I am glad they are getting this opportunity. Today we all helped Christopher gather 100 dandelions.

Mental Hospital

Hailey has several friends who watch iCarly. Most of these friends know and respect that I have fairly strict rules about TV shows. Sometimes for reasons that would only apply to us. I try to keep an open mind, and if there is ever a show that I have said no to, but haven’t actually watched, I will at some point try to sit down and watch at least one or two episodes. iCarly is one of those shows I said no to, yet I had not watched. Today, I decided Hailey and I would sit down together and watch an episode, and talk about it together, and make a decision about it. She was really feeling pressure to see it since several friends watch it.

We sat down, and BAM! right out of the gate they were trying to find out which mental hospital their close friend had checked themselves into. So I have to explain what a mental hospital is. Come to find out the girl checked herself into the hospital because she had kissed a boy, who then let her down. She was so mad, upset, depressed, that she felt it was best to check herself into a mental hospital. Ok, we stopped the show. I do not know how it ended, but I do know that that was pretty deep stuff, for me to explain to a soon to be 9 year old. WOW!

I know that the reality is that this situation probably happens so often now. But, it is just not age appropriate for targeted audience. Sorry, we won’t be watching anymore, and boy am I glad I watched this with her.

ps. I know that some of my readers allow their children to watch this show. I do not look down on you. This is a conviction for my family. That said I do encourage every parent to watch shows with their children to make sure that you know what they are being exposed to.

Perspective

There are no words in the English dictionary that I could use to convince my two year old, that this breadstick was anything other than a snake. He was so proud of this “snake”. He carried it around and refused to eat it. Eventually I did pry it from his hands, and discarded it. But he still holds to the fact that he found a “snake” in his food.

In person the breadstick looked like nothing more than a piece of food, but in the picture you can see that it does kind of look like a reptile. I don’t know that I would have thought about it being a snake, but it certainly does not look normal. It’s all about perspective.

This how it is so many times with life. We may see what’s in front of us, and insist that it is a certain way, but, if we back up and look at the situation from a different lens, it may look different. 

As mothers, it’s easy to get discouraged. sometimes all we see is, dirty diapers, dishes, laundry, back talk, fit’s, and spit up. That’s the perspective we have when we get overwhelmed. WE ALL GET OVERWHELMED! When we get overwhelmed, and remember, you will, it is important that we learn how to find that different lens to look through.

In my time as a mother, I have had my share of overwhelming moments. During those times I have found that it’s not always easy to find a different lens. Here are a few steps, and resources to help you along your way to finding a new perspective

1. PRAY!

Ask the Lord to help you find a new perspective.  

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."

Psalm 63:1-5

2. Read your Bible

The scripture is packed with encouraging scripture. I have found that reading the bible often helps me see things in a different way, it also helps me be more open to the voice of the Lord.

3. Read other books for encouragement. I have read a few great books lately, that have really helped me get out of a few motherhood pits.

4. Reach Out

Every mom has been overwhelmed, and I bet they can help. Seek out friend that can encourage you, and help you. Be honest. Friends can be one of your greatest assets in making it through these hard times.

5. Change things up and do something fun!

The dishes can wait, the laundry can wait, and the house can remain dirty. (they aren’t going anywhere) But, your kids are only kids once. If you don’t enjoy them now, you will miss your opportunity. It’s easy to get so overwhelmed that fun ceases to exist. You kids may be having fun, but you aren’t. Go to the park and play. YOU PLAY! Do something so crazy and fun that you can’t help but smile. Once you have had some fun, they other stuff is easier to handle.

6. Remember, you are NOT ALONE!!!

Attachment success

When you adopt an older child from an orphanage, or foster care, there is always the chance that that child will have attachment issues. It takes work to help that child form appropriate attachments, and can be very disheartening to the adoptive mother. Hailey has Reactive Attachment Disorder. We have been working on her healing for many years now, and are finally at a place where I believe we are seeing her heal.

Yesterday she gave me two songs she wrote that tell me she is healing.

“I love my family no matter what, because I love Christopher, Sammy, Liam, Mom, Dad, so much,”

“As long as we are together as a family and loving each other, life will be in good shape.”

I’ve cried all morning. Tears of joy. My heart is full.

The Yellow Bead

 

I had just gotten the older boys down for bed and was about to sit down and FINALLY eat my supper, when Hailey came waling down the hall saying she had something important to tell me. “What?”, I said with a sigh. I was not expecting the bombshell she was about to disclose.

Me- “What? You are supposed to be in your room”.

Hailey- “Umm, there’s a bead in my ear.”

Me- “A what?!!!!”

Hailey - “A Bead and it hurts.”

Me- Checking to see that there was in fact a plastic yellow bead in my 8 year olds ear. (exactly like  the picture only yellow) “OH MY GOODNESS! Why did you put a bead in your ear?!?!?!

Hailey- “I didn’t I just felt my ear and there was a yellow bead in it.”

Now I have heard of denial, but this was more than I could take. I mean really, when was the last time you put your finger in your ear, and felt a bead, and knew the color?

My husband chimes in, “So how did it get there?”

Hailey- “I’m telling you I HAVE NO IDEA!”

And so after several attempts to remove the bead from both her Father, and Myself, and after calling everyone, because I must have people laugh with me,  (If you don’t laugh, you will lose your mind) we decided to take her to the ER. With a few sucks with the sucker the bead was out and we headed home.

I laughed so hard I almost peed in my pants when Hailey decided she was going to tell what happened.

Hailey - “You see, here’s what happened, There was a yellow bead on my pillow when I laid down, then it just got in my ear. When I felt it in there I put my finger in my ear and it was there.”

Me – “So you laid your head down and the bead just jumped in there?”

Hailey - “Yep, that’s what happened.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA Apparently we have jumping beads in this house.

Our trip to the Dentist

Is that not the scariest thing you’ve ever seen? We haven’t taken DD to the Orthodontist yet, but according to the Dentist she has both a cross bite, and an under bite. This stretching of the jaw is usually the most affective treatment. I had a friend once who had one of these. Every day she would have to turn a key stretching her jaw. I think I will faint if I am asked to turn a key daily in Hailey’s mouth. Now I have to make an appointment with an Orthodontist. There goes her car money (lol!)

My Baby Boy is 1!!!!!!!!

If you watch Little Einstein you know what is going through my head. “I cannot believe it!” Just incase a few of you have no idea what I’m talking about, listen closely to this clip to how that phrase is said.

My baby is 1!!!!!