The other day I posted a story about my sweet Hailey and a book we had read. Much to my surprise I received a few negative comments. One comment in particular really got me thinking. The comment; “I do not believe that someone else is ever better than the birth parent, and that you would try to take the place of that child’s mom is appalling. I do not agree with adoption!” Anonymous
Okay, first, I absolutely believe that every birth parent has a special place in each child's heart. In a perfect world each birth parent would take responsibility for their child and love them unconditionally. They would make every effort to take care of that child, and they would be a family. But we do not live in a perfect world. So, if there were no option for adoption, what would these children have? Well, in countries where adoption is not widely practiced, the children are placed in orphanages, or left on the streets to fend for themselves.
Every adoptive parent has their own journey. There are many different things that lead them to that decision. Not all are pure, but most are. Our story will not look the same as another persons. But one thing remains the same, (at least for most) Their families have been blessed beyond belief. I can’t tell another persons story, but I can tell mine.
My children were in the foster care system for many reasons. For their privacy those will remain with me, but I assure you there was a reason. They were both born into a home where there mother could not take care of them. Once in the foster care system they had many homes (or places to stay). It’s incredibly hard to place sibling groups where both children have special needs. Plus there are very few people who desire to adopt an older child. Most are looking for 2 and under. When God led them to our home they had already been passed up several times because of those issues. We were so thankful to God that we were able to offer these beautiful children a place to call home. To keep them together. Had we not accepted God’s call for us, and not adopted them, where would they be? What would have happened to them? Would they still be together? Would anyone have taken the time to take care of my sweet babies needs, or would they have been considered bad kids and pushed aside? I will never know the answers to these questions, and I am glad of that. For so many the outcome is less than desirable.
I am forever thankful to God for leading us on this journey, and I could not imagine life without my babies. If I lose you as a reader because of that so be it. I’m really not concerned about that. I keep this blog because I enjoy it. I will not apologize for loving my children with all of my heart, and desiring that they love me. I will not apologize for offering them the best care that I can give them (care they would not have gotten otherwise), and I will not apologize for believing in adoption. Adoption, when led by the hand of God, is the most beautiful blessing you can receive. I love my children, and that’s what they are, “My Children”.
5 comments:
I cannot believe someone left you a negative comment. I think it's incredibly admirable that you adopted older children, and not just that, but older children with special needs. Having a child with special needs is challenging. I have read your FB status updates about the difficulties you face with doctors and insurance in getting your kids the help they need. I am glad I don't have to deal with that. It takes a strong woman to do all of that and homeschool too! I think your kids are incredibly lucky to have a mom who fights for them and works to get them what they need. Don't let someone else's negativity get you down. Keep up the great work!
Your post is beautiful. There will always be folks who truly don't understand. It saddens me that this person who wrote is so unaware of the needs of children without families. I think that is what it boils down to... unaware and, therefore, making assumptions about something that they don't truly know about.
Somehow I missed your post about the book you read with your dd, but I went back and read it. I think what is maybe misleading about the book is that what she got wasn't necessarily better than what she wanted. She probably wanted a great mom who would take great care of her, AND who was her birth mother. But the reality was that her birth mother wasn't able to fulfill that role. So it was more of what she got was better than what she originally had, not necessarily better than what she wanted. I hope that makes sense and comes off right. I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I'm just making the point that the book was a bit misleading in how it was worded.
That being said, I do believe in adoption, and I think you have been very brave to foster older children. We are a family who at this point is only working with 0 to 18 months, but we don't necessarily have adoption in mind either.
Your an Awesome mom maybe adoption is not for some but for some it's Amazing my 3 nieces are adopted & I couldn't imagine our family without them their mother was not fit to be a mom & have no idea who dad is. Don't you worry about what people think your children were placed with you by God !!!! Love you guys
I found your blog very inspiring therefore I decided to leave you an award on my blog: http://ponadsiebie.blogspot.com/2011/08/blogowej-zabawy-cd.html
Thank you for sharing your great ideas with us
Hugs
czyzyk
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